BOTROS

I went with a friend to a famous tea room for lunch last week - it's called Bird on the Rock. It gets rave reviews and wins awards for being as authentic as they come - with a thirties/forties style atmosphere and decor and original teas to match. They don't trouble with a website otherwise i would stick in a link.

Anyway my friend was worried cos I was late and though she had booked - apparently essential - the guy on the phone had told her they were 'very busy' and she was concerned that we would lose the table. When we got there she dropped me at the gate and went to park the car. I walked along the path which had a procession of notices, handwritten and stuck in the ground. These notices announced such things as ' At busy times we are often fully booked and you may have to wait a while' - next one 'Please queue here - we are very busy but will do our best to accommodate you' - next one - 'Please wait to be seated - although there may appear to be empty tables, many are booked in advance'.

Anyway I went in and - yes, you guessed it - it was of course nigh on empty. A few people turned up and of course it was the beginning of February and I'm sure it does get very busy in the summer, on the three days a week they are open. The lunch and the service was pleasant enough and the place itself is jolly good for a trip down memory lane (Mabel Lucie Atwell postcards took me straight back to my childhood holiday accommodation). However it did make me think how people and organisations can develop BOTROS (Bird on the Rock Occupied Syndrome) where they are sure and certain that they are too busy when actually the evidence is completely to the contrary.

Later that same day I had the bad luck to witness another example of BOTROS whilst at Hereford Hospital with my mum who had had another fall. We were warned that there was a three hour wait as they were 'very busy' but during this time I saw no evidence of anyone being other than mildly occupied, with a lot of standing around and chatting. The NHS - with whom I am a frequent flier - has got the worst attack of BOTROS ever known. They are 'heroes' and 'angels' - and yes, I've known them be all those things - but a lot of the time they are doing routine tasks in an unpressured environment. Now I know Hereford is hardly inner city complete with knifings and perhaps I'm being unfair but honestly, there were a few kids with bandaged limbs, a drunk with a head injury, mum and a few others looking a bit peaky and that was it. Huge gaggles of staff stood around nattering or mooched about with a desultory bedpan.

I've seen worse BOTROS at PerfectArc on an average Wednesday.